


Can't You See Me?

by TangledDreams



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fashion Designer Magnus Bane, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Insecure Alec Lightwood, M/M, Malec, Orphan Alec, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Protective Magnus Bane, Self Harm, Smutt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-03-09 06:06:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13475286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TangledDreams/pseuds/TangledDreams
Summary: Alec age 16 is an orphan. He was given up by his birth parents at the age of 1. When he was 6 he met Magnus Bane, an 11 year old who hung out at the park near the orphanage. Ever since they have been grown close. But when Alec turns 16, everything changes. They grow even closer but in a way none of them would have ever expected.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> New story. Hope you like it.  
> Just a heads up. This story will start in the present but I will explain how the two met and everything soon. (:  
> Also they aren't together (Like dating) In the beginning of this story. Just to let you know so no one is confused.

Bloody ripped up shirt, torn jeans, no shoes, was how he left that horrid place. He needed to get out. He needed to protect himself and the only way he could was to run. He didn't care how he looked, all he cared about was getting to the one person that he could cry too. That he could feel safe with. So he ran. He ran with all his might as he rounded the corner of the busiest street and towards the apartment building where he knew where the one person who wouldn't judge him, who wouldn't hurt him, lived at.

Alec ran as tears rolled down his face. He ran as his body ached and with every step he took felt like he was on fire. He knew he should stop to take a minute to breathe and to take a rest but he couldn't. He had to get to Magnus because if he didn't then he was afraid he was going to loose himself. He was terrified and in so much pain. He thought that maybe this time was different but as usual he was wrong and he got his hopes up for nothing. He hoped that this new family would love him but all they did was bring him nothing but fright and pain. 

When he finally got to the doors of the apartment building, Alec flung them open and ran inside. He didn't care who was in the lobby that were watching him. He just needed to get to Magnus. He heard a shout from one of the people but he ignored them. He ran towards the stairs, not bothering to wait for the elevator, and made his way up to the fifth floor. When he got there he ran straight towards room 504 and knocked as loudly as he could. 

A minute passed and then two and then three and soon Alec was loosing all the hope he had left. Magnus wasn't home. Alec shut his eyes and allowed more tears to fall. He slumped up against the brick wall opposite from the door and pulled his knees to his chest. He didn't know what to do. Where to go. Magnus wasn't home and now he felt hopeless. He then started to get into his own mind. That maybe it was good Magnus wasn't home. Because then he wouldn't be bothering Magnus. That he wouldn't be a burden. As Alec stood up and turn to leave back towards the stairs, he heard the door unlock and swing open. 

"Alexander?" Magnus whispered.

Alec turned around and when he saw Magnus, he broke down again. Sobbing as hard as he could. Magnus gasped when he saw the blood on Alec's shirt and pants. How torn his clothing was and how bloody his feet were from running with no shoes. When he looked at Alec's face, his heart broke into pieces. The older man quickly pulled Alec inside and shut the door. He then pulled Alec into his chest and wrapped his arms around Alec letting the boy cry into him.

"Mag...Magnus." Alec choked out in between sobs as his knees finally gave in.

Magnus quickly scooped Alec up and walked into his bed room and sat down on his bed with Alec in his lap.

"Shh sweetheart. You're safe now. What happened Alexander?" 

Alec shook his head and wiped at his eyes harshly. "I...can't. Not tonight. Let's not talk about it tonight. Please Magnus. Please." 

Magnus nodded and kissed Alec's temple. "Alright, alright."

Ten minutes passed of Magnus running his hand through Alec's dirty hair while telling him that he was okay. That he's safe. Alec would sniff every now and again and wipe at his eyes. Ten minutes passed before Alec sprung up and off of Magnus's lap and the bed. 

"I shouldn't be here. You don't deserve this. I'm such a screw up. I'm such a burden. Why did I come here? I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for causing you trouble Magnus. I'm just gonna go. You don't have to deal with me any longer. I'm sorry." Alec said with a shaky voice.

As he took a step towards the door, he whimpered in pain. He was hurting but he couldn't stay. He wouldn't do that to Magnus. He wouldn't burden Magnus with his troubles. The older man had a life too and it wasn't just about Alec. He was being selfish. It's what he thought anyways.

Before Alec could get out the door, Magnus was by him in an instant. He grabbed Alec's wrist and when he did Alec cried out in pain. He quickly let go of his wrist but instead of letting go of Alec completely he wrapped Alec into a hug once more. However he placed his arms around his waist because he wanted to avoid Alec's back. It's where it was the most bloody and Magnus could tell Alec was in pain there.

"Hey, you listen to me Alexander. You are no burden. Do you remember what I said the day we met? I told you that no matter what you could always come to me. No matter what Alexander. I care about you. So much, You're my best friend. You will never ever be a burden to me. You are not a screw up. Now i'm going to take care of your wounds and then we are going to drink some hot chocolate and watch a movie until you fall asleep. Okay?"

Alec looked up and closed his eyes. "Okay."

Magnus smiled and kissed Alec's temple again. It's been a while since he's seen Alec. He's just been so busy with his new clothing line and he knew that with Alec getting a new family that Alec would be busy too. But seeing Alec like this, he wished he would have gone and seen Alec sooner. Alec was one of Magnus's best friends and seeing him like this, it made him want to scream. It made him furious at the people who had hurt him. Alec didn't deserve this. He never did.

"How about I run you a bath? I can clean you up and check on your wounds that way. You can keep your boxers on of course. But I need to see your wounds Alexander and I know you aren't comfortable like that but this is the best way to do it." Magnus explained as he scooped Alec up into his arms and walked into the bathroom.

Alec only nodded his head. His throat hurt and he didn't feel like talking. He was grateful that Magnus was carrying him though. His feet hurt like hell and even standing on them hurt. 

Magnus carefully sat Alec down on the counter and walked over to the bathtub. As he got the bath ready, he would glance back at Alec every now and again. He saw Alec staring at the ground and hardly ever move. Magnus's heart was now shattered. Alec look destroyed. He looked so hopeless and so hurt that it pained Magnus to see him like that. When the bathtub was full he turned off the water and walked over to Alec.

"Do you need help getting undressed?" Magnus asked softly.

Alec closed his eyes. "My shirt. It's sticking to my back and I can't..."

Alec's eyes started to water and his voice cracked. Magnus gently placed a hand on Alec's cheek and nodded. "Okay Alexander. Don't worry. I will take care of it. Can you lift your arms up for me? I know it will hurt but only for a second."

Alec nodded and rose his arms up. He winced at the feeling. When Magnus grabbed the hem of Alec's shirt he counted to three before pulling it off completely. Alec cried out in pain again as the shirt that was stuck to his skin was yanked off. Magnus apologized quickly and about ten times before he looked up into the mirror and hissed at what he saw.

Belt marks were all over Alec's back. There were welts all over his back and cuts and bruises. Magnus knew by seeing this that Alec was whipped with a belt of some sort and not just a few times either. It also looked like some were old. Like a week old. Alec looked over at Magnus and when he saw the older man looking at his back he ducked his head and closed his eyes in embarrassment. However when he felt three soft fingers under his chin and pushing his head up he opened his eyes to see Magnus looking at him fondly.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Magnus whispered.

Alec closed his eyes and felt the tears roll down his cheeks. "Because I'm so ashamed. I'm so scared. I just...I just wanted someone to love me. Just once. But I was wrong again. Again Magnus. No one ever wants me. I'm just some rag doll they can play with and toss around. I'm worthless." 

"Oh Alexander..."

Alec shook his head. "I don't want to talk. I told you this. Please Magnus."

"You're right darling. I'm sorry. Let's get these pants off of you and get you into the bath."

It took a while but they finally got Alec cleaned up and Magnus had taken care of Alec's wounds. Alec had a bath towel wrapped around his waste as he slid off his soaking wet boxers. When he did he hung them on the side of the bath and shyly look at Magnus.

"Can I stay the night tonight? If you don't want me too then that's okay. I know you said something about watching movies and falling asleep but I did show up unannounced and probably ruined your night."

Magnus shook his head. "Alexander, of course you're going to stay the night. I wouldn't let you leave even if you wanted to. Now let me get you some pajama's and then i'll get the hot coa coa ready as you climb into bed and start the movie. Does that sound okay?"

Alec smiled and nodded. "Yes. And thank you. For everything."

Magnus smiled back and leaned in to kiss Alec's temple. He then grabbed Alec some pajama's and handed them to him. Magnus then made his way out of the bedroom to start the hot chocolate and to give Alec some privacy. When he came back he saw Alec laying on the left side of the bed while looking at the t.v. with half opened eyes. Magnus could tell he was tired and knew that with the hot chocolate that he would be falling asleep soon and that's what Magnus wanted. Alec was exhausted and in pain and he wanted Alec to sleep so he could recover. Also the sooner they go to bed the sooner they can wake up and talk about what had happened. Tomorrow was going to be a rough day, and Magnus was going to be with Alec every step of it. 

He also knew one thing, that after their talk he was going to have a different conversation with Alec. One that he hopes won't scare Alec away and one that Alec will be happy with. He can't see Alec continue to be hurt. He won't allow it. Not ever again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter here we go (:  
> Warning: Mentions of past non con. Nothing to graphic don't worry.

5 a.m. in the morning. The sun is barely rising and the outside world is still silent. No birds to be heard or hardly any cars passing by. It's weird to think about if you close your eyes and listen. How everything can be silent one minute and the next it's like a whole new world. 

It was an hour before when Alec woke up due to a nightmare. He woke up gasping for air, scared out of his mind. He was lucky enough to not wake up Magnus who was sleeping peacefully by his side. So now at 5 in the morning, Alec was sitting up and leaning against the headboard but just barely so he wouldn't hurt the scars and cuts on his back. His eyes were shut as he had the covers pulled to his waist and he listened to everything around him. The only thing that could be heard was Magnus's breathing as he slept. 

He knew he shouldn't just be sitting there. He should be doing something if not trying to go back to sleep. But he couldn't. His mind just wouldn't shut up and even if he wanted to get up he couldn't because of the pain his body was in. 

He thought about everything that had happened last night and way before that. For years he's been abused. For years he's been ignored. For years he's been used. It was sad because when he was being beaten up or being used by older men, he didn't know what to do. One point in time he thought it was normal because he didn't know any better. He was abandoned by his parents when he was only one years old. There was no one to take care of him. No one to love him. No one to teach him right from wrong. 

Sure there were the people at the orphanage but they hardly even cared for him either. They hardly ever noticed when he left the orphanage to go to the park. They didn't notice when he spent weeks without eating. They just didn't care. Alec slowly opened his eyes and looked to his right to see Magnus sleeping. Alec smiled at him. Magnus was always there for him. He was the one thing in Alec's life that was right. The one thing he could depend on.

When Alec was 6 years old, he snuck out to the park. The park near the orphanage was the one place where Alec could be him and not be afraid of things. He could relax and just be free. But that day when he snuck out to the park, he was a mess. He was crying because the older kids picked on him. They were making fun of him and telling him how no one would ever love him and that he would never find a family to love. They even tore up his teddy bear that a nice lady who volunteered for the orphanage time to time gave to him. 

*Flash back* 

He was crying as he ran to the park. He had to get away from that place. When he got to the park, he ran to his bench that he would always sit at. As he got to the bench he hoped up on to it and wiped at his eyes with his overly large sleeves of his sweater. He watched as the other kids chased each other as they laughed and had fun. It hurt to see kids like that. To see them have fun with each other. Alec didn't have any friends. Not one in that orphanage. He wished he was one of those kids but he knew he wasn't.

It also hurt when he saw one of them fall and scrape their knee while their mother ran up to the kid and scooped him into her arms. She cooed at him and helped bandage him up. She kissed his forehead and the kid was happy as ever once again.

Alec hated seeing that. He desperately longed for a mother. Or a father. Just someone to love him and to hold him and tell him time to time that it was okay. But he didn't have that and he knew he never would. Sure Alec was only 6, but he was way mature for his age. He had to be. He had to grow up so fast in order to protect himself because no one would do it for him.

So as he watched the other kids and tried not to cry, he didn't see three older kids heading his way. He didn't notice it until they were in front of him and crouching down to get a better look at him. When he saw them, Alec wanted to run, he wanted to hide. He hated strangers. But when he looked into their eyes, he saw nothing but concern and it made him stay.

"Hey, you okay?" 

Alec sniffed and wiped his eyes. "I don't know." Alec whispered.

"Okay. That's alright. My mom says it's okay to not know sometimes. I'm Magnus and that is Cat and Ragnor. What is your name?" Magnus asked gently.

Alec looked at Cat and Ragnor before looking over at Magnus. "Alexander but I go by Alec."

"It's nice to meet you. Do you want to hang out with us? We were just going to play on the slides. You looked lonely and sad and I think everyone deserves to have friends. So want to be ours?" Magnus asked with a smile.

Alec shrugged. "I don't know. Not many people like me. You probably won't." 

"We like you!" Cat exclaimed while Ragnor nodded.

Alec looked at the three and smiled. "Okay. But I can only stay for an hour."

*Flash Back over*

Since then the four became close friends. They would meet up at the park every Saturday and Sunday. A few years later a boy named Raphael joined their group. At first Alec was hesitant but Raphael was nice to him, even if he was grumpy most of the time. Will and Jem also joined their group as well after a few years.

However it was Magnus that Alec grew closest too. Magnus was the one that Alec trusted the most. He was always there for Alec and always making sure Alec was okay. One day when Alec was nine, Magnus questioned Alec about his family and where he lived. He had asked Alec that before but every time Alec would tense up making Magnus change the conversation. 

But that day Alec couldn't hold it in anymore. He told Magnus everything. About the orphanage and about how they treat him there. Magnus held him as he cried his eyes out that day. He held him as he told Alec that he didn't think less of Alec but only felt like Alec was stronger than he thought. 

When Alec was twelve and Magnus was seventeen, Alec ran to Magnus's home. Magnus lived with Jocelyn, Luke, and Clary who were his adoptive family. Magnus was adopted when he was five years old. Magnus had invited Alec over many of times so he knew exactly where Magnus lived.

When he got there he was happy to see Magnus was alone. He was crying on the door step and when Magnus answered the door he immediately brought Alec into a hug. Alec told Magnus about how his new family hurt him. How they hit him and kicked him. He even told him about the past families. He told him about how some older men would use him. How those older men would kiss his neck and hold him down while he cried and begged them to stop. 

Magnus was furious. He wanted to do something, anything. But there was nothing he could do. Not until he turned eighteen. He talked to Alec about telling his foster parents but Alec begged him not too. He begged and begged until Magnus gave in.

When Magnus turned eighteen, he went to the police. However they didn't do a thing because it happened a year ago or longer and there was no proof. He wanted to help Alec but he couldn't and it made Magnus want to cry.

Since then Alec kept things to himself. Him and Magnus grew apart as Magnus got into college and Alec grew more distant. Things were only getting worse for Alec while things were getting better for Magnus and Alec didn't want to mess that up so he never told Magnus about what was going on. That is until last night when things got too bad. 

"Alec? Darling?" 

Alec jumped at Magnus's voice. He was so inside his head that he didn't realize that Magnus was awake. Alec took a deep breath in and out before turning his head to look at Magnus once more. Magnus was now sitting up and looking right back at him.

"How long have you been awake?" Magnus whispered.

Alec looked over at the alarm clock and saw that it was now six. Time flew by when you get lost in thought. 

"About two hours." Alec replied.

Magnus's eyes widened. "What? Why did you wake up so early? Why didn't you wake me?" 

"I had a nightmare. It's okay Magnus. I've been dealing with them for as long as I can remember. I didn't wake you because you didn't deserve to be waken up." 

Magnus shook his head and grabbed one of Alec's hands. "You shouldn't be okay with it. You shouldn't have to deal with these things on your own darling."

Alec closed his eyes. "But I have Magnus. I've been alone all my life. I've had to learn to deal with it. I have to be strong. Don't you get it Magnus?"

"Oh Alexander. Don't you get it? You're not alone. You have me and our friends. You're not alone." Magnus whispered.

Alec sighed in frustration and shook his head. Sure he had Magnus and the others but they weren't with him most of the time. They had their own lives. Alec was alone. He was always alone.

"What happened last night? Please talk to me."

"You won't judge me? You won't...hate me? Promise you won't. Promise Magnus. I can't loose you too. Please."

Magnus's heart broke. "I could never."

Alec nodded and closed his eyes. 

"I was adopted by a new family two weeks ago. At first they were nice. They were amazing Magnus. I thought that they could be the ones you know? But a few days after being adopted I learned it was all an act for them to make me trust them just so they can have their fun. The dad, John, would get drunk and come home late at night. He would come into my room and beat me with his belt because I wasn't their real son. The mother would watch and just laugh at me. Last night, it was the worst of it all. They drugged my water and when I felt weak they tied me down to the bed."

Alec stopped just to take a breather and began again.

"The dad had a friend that came by every two days. He would always...always just look at me. Last night the dad invited his friend over and he...he pulled my pants down and he touched me. I begged him to stop but he wouldn't. He just said that it's my fault for being a tease. That if I didn't look like this then he would have controlled himself better."

Magnus closed his eyes and clenched his hands into fists. "Did he..."

Alec shook his head. "No. He just....touched me."

"Oh god. Alexander..." 

"When the man left to use the bathroom, I pulled on the ropes with all the strength I had. Luckily they weren't good at tying so I managed to slip out of the ropes. I...I pulled my pants back on and I booked it out of that house. I couldn't stay there. I..."

Alec chocked on his saliva as he started to cry. Magnus pulled him into his chest and held him.

"He's not going to hurt you ever again. He won't get to you. I promise." Magnus whispered.

Alec shook his head. "But that's just it. Maybe he won't but someone else will. I have to go back to the orphanage Magnus. I...I have no where else to go." 

"You're staying here." Magnus said sternly.

"What?"

"I said you're staying here. I made up my mind last night. I hate seeing you like this. I'm going to take care of this sweetheart. I promise. No one is ever going to hurt you ever again. First we are going to go to Luke, he got promoted to sheriff and i'm positive he's going to get those people who hurt you. Then we are going to go to that horrid orphanage and i'm going to adopt you." 

"Magnus...are you sure? I'm...I'm a lot to handle. I'm broken Magnus. You don't want me." 

"Alexander. You're my best friend. I want you here. With me. I want you safe. Please let me do this. Please."

"Okay." Alec whispered before closing his eyes and leaning his head on Magnus's chest.

It was finally time Magnus did something right. It was time that Alec felt safe and wanted. It was time to make the bad days go away and replace them with nothing but love and good. It was just finally time.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter hope you like it

After eating breakfast, Magnus had called Luke and asked if they could talk at the station. Luke agreed right away and so now Alec and Magnus were getting ready, Alec had borrowed a shirt, pants, and a pair of socks and shoes from Magnus because he didn't have anything with him nor did he have any good clothes at all. When they were done they got into Magnus's car and they drove to the station. The ride was quiet and Magnus would occasionally look over at Alec in the passenger seat who was looking out the window and rubbing his palm with his right thumb.

When they got to the station Magnus unbuckled and was about to get out when he noticed that Alec wasn't moving to unbuckle or get out. Magnus turned in his seat and placed a hand on Alec's shoulder which caused the teen to jump in his seat and flinch away from the contact. Magnus immediately pulled his hand back. 

"I'm sorry Alexander." Magnus said softly.

Alec shook his head. "I'm the one who should be sorry. It's just...I don't do well with people touching me now. I.,,."

"Hey, I understand sweetheart." 

Alec nodded and sighed as he looked out the window again. "What if he doesn't believe me? No one does Magnus. This is pointless. We should just head back."

"Alexander, darling look at me." 

Alec sighed again and turned to look at Magnus.

"Luke is going to believe you. He's going to believe you because he's a good man. Besides, you have proof. I know this is hard but the scars on your body? Anyone with eyes could tell that you were abused. And I know you won't want to show him them but I will be there with you the whole way and it's just going to be me, you, and Luke. We will get through this Alexander. Do you trust me?"

"You're the only person I do trust Magnus." Alec replied as he unbuckled his seat belt and got out of the car.

Magnus's heart broke hearing that sentence. Sure he was glad that Alec trusted him. But Alec has trusted so many people before only for them to stab him in the back. Magnus closed his eyes as he took a deep breath in and out and got out of the car. He then walked around so he was next to Alec and looked into his eyes.

"Are you ready?" Magnus asked.

"Yes. Just...stay with me the whole time okay?"

"I promise, I'm not going anywhere." Magnus replied. 

Alec nodded and turned towards the station's entrance and started to head inside with Magnus right behind him. Once inside the lady with a police uniform at the front desk looked up and smiled at Alec before frowning. Alec knew that she probably saw the bruises on his arms and neck and even some on his face which caused him to shift on his feet because he was so uncomfortable with a stranger looking at him.

"Hey sweetie. Are you okay?" The lady asked.

"I...uh...."

"We're here to see Luke. Is he here?" Magnus asked which Alec was grateful for.

"Yeah. He's in his office. I can take you there if you like?"

"No. That's okay. I know where it is." 

"Alrighty then. Go on ahead."

Magnus smiled and nodded at the lady before nodding at Alec and having him follow towards Lukes office. As they started to walk Alec was getting more nervous by the minute. Once they got to his office, Magnus knocked on the door three times before a few seconds later the door opened and Luke was there. When Alec was Luke his eyes widened. This was Magnus's foster dad. 

"Alec?" Luke whispered as he looked at Alec's injuries. 

"I didn't know you were talking about Luke Luke." Alec said turning to Magnus.

Magnus smiled. "I wanted it to be a surprise." 

"Why don't you two come on in?" Luke asked as he held the door open more.

Alec and Magnus made their way inside and sat down. Luke closed the door after them and walked around his desk to sit down as well. 

"Magnus, the reason you called...it's because of Alec right?" Luke asked looked over at Alec who had his head down and was staring at his hands.

"Yeah. The people who adopted him, they abused him. Badly too." 

Luke nodded. "Alec, do you want to tell me what happened?"

Alec made a strangled sound and shook his head. He didn't know if he could retell the story again. It jurt too much. He was also afraid that Luke would judge him or wouldn't believe him what so ever and he was just scared.

"Hey, Alec, look at me." Luke said softly.

Alec slowly lifted his head. 

"This is a safe place Alec. No one is going to judge you or hurt you here. I promise you."

Alec turned his head and looked at Magnus who smiled and gave him a reassuring nod. Alec turned his head again and looked at Luke and told everything he had told Magnus the night before. Luke asked Alec if he could see his injuries and when Alec said yes he stood up and slowly took a deep breath in and out before turning around and lifiting up his shirt. All across his back were marks made from a belt. Some older and some newer.

"Oh god." Luke said looking at Alec's back.

"Can I put my shirt down now?" Alec asked with a shaky voice.

"Of course Alec." 

Alec placed his shirt back down and turnd around. 

"Alec? Do you mind waiting outside for a minute? I need to talk to Magnus." 

"Uh sure?" Alec said looking between the two.

Luke reached into his pocket and took out two dollar bills. He handed them to Alec and smiled. "There is a snack machine down the hall. Get anything you want." 

Alec nodded and looked at Magnus once before heading out of the room and closing the door behind him. Once the door shut Magnus looked over at Luke and furrowed his brows in confusion wondering why he sent Alec away.

"How long until that boy finds a good home Magnus?" Luke asked shaking his head.

"That's actually something I wanted to talk to you about. Get your opinion on something." 

"What is it?" 

Magnus sighed and ran a hand through his styled hair. "I want him to live with me. I want to adopt him. I was going to do it after we are done here."

"Magnus. You're only twenty two years old. Don't get me wrong. Alec is a sweet boy and I would do anything to protect him. But he's hurt in a way that no one should be hurt and that's a lot to handle. Do you think you can handle that?" 

Magnus nodded his head. "Yes. I can't see him be hurt again Luke. I just can't. He doesn't deserve any of this. It's not fair."

Luke nodded his hand and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Then I will support you and so will Jocelyn. She loves that boy too. We will help you no matter what. We would adopt him ourselves but we're getting old and it was never the right time. You would be good for him Magnus."

"I hope so." Magnus replied.

"Alright well i'm going to go talk to a few other officers so we can get those son of bitches who hurt him. However I think you should wait until tomorrow to adopt Alec that way I can go with you and help you with whatever you need. Does the orphanage know he's with you?"

Magnus laughed bitterly. "I doubt they know he's gone."

Luke closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "That orphanage is a fucking terrible place. They don't care what happenes to any of those kids. Alec is proof of that."

"I agree. I just hope I can adopt Alec tomorrow and that he will never have to see that place again."

"Alright Magnus. Well I think it's time to get those people and I will call you later tonight so we can talk about what's going to happen tomorrow. Is that okay?" 

"Sounds fine."

Luke smiled. "Alright. Let me say good bye to Alec."

The two opened the door and saw Alec sitting on the bench with a bag of cheeto's in one hand and a mountain dew in the other. Magnus chuckled at the sight. Alec was adorable as he stuffed his face with Cheeto's. He then realized something. Alec was skinny. Very skinny. Which meant that Alec probably hadn't had a decent meal in forever and that he was probably starving. 

"I see you found the vending machines okay?" Luke said with a grin.

Alec looked up with wide eyes and blushed. "Uh yeah. Thank you." 

"No problem kiddo. I want you to know that we are going to get those people who hurt you Alec. I promnise."

"Thank you." Alec whispered as he tried to hold back the tears. 

"Of course. Now I gotta go but I will see you both tomorrow." 

Luke nodded at them both and headed down the hall. Alec stood up and wiped at his eyes before looking at Magnus. "Tomorrow?"

"Yeah. I know I said I would try to adopt you today but Luke things it would be best if we wait tomorrow so that he could go with us and help out. Is that okay?" \

"Yeah. But does that mean I have to go back to the orphanage?" 

"No. You're still going to be with me Alec. I won't let you go back to that horrid place."

The two then headed out of the station and into the car. Halfway towards the house Alec looked over at Magnus. "Thank you. For being there for me. I know i'm a lot so thank you."

"You are not alot Alexander. Never. And I would do it all over again in a heart beat."

The rest of the ride was in silence besiedes the radio that played in the car. Fifteen minutes later they arrived at the apartment and when they got to Magnus's door, he unlocked it and the two walked in. What none of them expected was to see a girl about Magnus's age leaning up against the counter.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments are the reason why I keep writing so thank you.  
> This is a short chapter so I apologize in advance. The next one will be longer I promise.  
> Also just a warning. I added a new tag. 
> 
> Alec does self harm in this. Nothing to graphic but it is there. If it's something that triggers you please do not read. Also I just want all of you to know you are loved (:
> 
> Lets get on with the story.

"Baby!"

Baby? Alec looked over at the girl who had just said that word and watched her as she ran over to Magnus and jumped into his arms. Magnus on instinct caught her in his arms and the next thing that was happening was that the girl had leaned in and was kissing Magnus. Hard. Alec looked away and headed towards the guest room he was staying in. He closed the door behind him and sat down on the bed. 

Seeing that girl in Magnus's arms and watching the two kiss. It made his heart ache. There was something that no one knew about Alec. Not even Magnus. And that was that he was in love with him. He was in love with the one and only Magnus Bane. The only person who had been there for Alec time and time again and it hurt so much to see what he had just seen. Magnus was the only one he could ever trust and Alec just loved him. He loved him with all his heart but he knew....he knew Magnus would never feel the same.

Alec shook his head. "Stupid." He thought. "Of course Magnus would never want you. You're young and you have too much baggage. Magnus would never go for someone as ugly as you. I mean look at that girl. She's gorgeous and Magnus's age."

As he let the dark thoughts enter his mind, he felt the urge to do the only thing that made him feel better. He closed his eyes as he felt the sting of unshed tears. He slowly closed his hands into fists and pushed as hard as he could. His fingernails dug into his skin and when Alec felt the sting he sighed and opened his eyes. He looked down at his hands and saw blood dripping out of his fists and onto the carpet. 

Alec got up and walked into the bathroom that was connected to his room. When he got there he walked up to the sink and turned on the water. He opened his eyes and saw nail marks in his skin and blood dripping out of them. As he ran his hands under the water he was surprised about how Magnus hadn't seen the scars on his palm of doing that same thing over and over again. In a way he was happy Magnus hadn't seen what he had done to himself. He didn't want to disappoint Magnus.

Suddenly there was a knock on his door and Alec cursed. He wiped his hands off and made sure the bleeding had stopped before walking over and opening the door. He hissed when his raw flesh hit the doorknob but shook it off when the door was fully open. Standing in the doorway was Magnus.

"Hi darling. Can you come out for a second?" 

Alec nodded. Not trusting his voice to say a word at the moment. When he walked out he saw the woman sitting on the couch watching them. Watching him. He saw the dirty look Camille gave him before smiling brightly at him right when Magnus turned his head to look at the girl. 

"Alexander, this is Camille. Camille this is Alec." Magnus said.

"Hi." Alec said quietly. 

"Hello sweetie. Magnus hasn't mentioned you before. Who are you?" 

Alec sighed and ducked his head. Of course, Magnus would be too embarrassed to talk about him to his friends. Alec didn't blame him. He was an embarrassment after all. 

"He's my friend Camille." Magnus said with a slight growl.

"Oh? He's a little too young don't you think? Where are his parents? You must be babysitting him huh?" Camille asked faking the innocent tone.

Alec wanted so desperately to be back in the room. He didn't want to talk about any of this. Why was she being so cruel?

"I'm not babysitting him. He's living here. Look Camille it's not a good time right now. Can we talk later?" 

Camille sighed and got up. She then walked over to Magnus and wrapped her arms around him. A few seconds later Magnus wrapped his arms around her but hesitantly. Alec saw Camille smirk at him before she closed her eyes and kissed Magnus again. Alec looked away and shuffled on his feet uncomfortably. 

"Of course my love. Call me?" 

"Sure."

Camille kissed Magnus one more time before heading out of the apartment. Alec sighed and started to head back to the guest room when he felt a gentle hand wrap around his wrist causing Alec to turn around and to see it was Magnus who had a hold on him.

"I'm so sorry about her. I don't know why she acted like that." Magnus explained.

Alec shrugged. "It's okay. So that was your girlfriend?" 

"Yeah." Magnus replied with a bit of bitterness in his tone. 

Alec nodded. "Do you love her?" 

"No." Magnus replied as he walked over to the couch and sat down.

Alec followed and sat down next to him.

"Have you ever been in love Alexander?" Magnus asked.

Alec ducked his head. "Yes." 

Magnus's eyes widened. "With who?"

Alec shook his head. "It doesn't matter. He doesn't love me back. Not in that way anyways. He probably never will."

"Oh Alexander..." Magnus whispered as he carefully wrapped his arms around Alec and hugged him tightly. "If he doesn't love you then he does not deserve you."

Alec shrugged once more. "I'll get over it. It's fine." 

"You know that I love you right?" Magnus asked softly.

Alec closed his eyes. _Not the way I want you to love me._ Alec thought. Instead of replying verbally he nodded his head. They sat there for about ten minutes until Magnus told him that they were going to spend the rest of the day watching movies. He told Alec to pick one out as he went to go make them some food since none of them have had lunch. When he came back he saw Alec picked the Maze Runner and smiled at that. 

"Here you go." Magnus said handing him a plate with a sandwich on it and a glass of juice.

"Thank you." Alec whispered.

"You're welcome, sweetheart." Magnus said as he sat down next to Alec. 

When they finished eating they sat their plates aside. Alec was now laying down with his head on Magnus's lap while the older man threaded his fingers through Alec's hair. The rest of the day included watching movies with occasional breaks and one card game of war. Magnus wanted it to be a relaxing day for Alec after everything that happened during the morning. 

It was now 10 at night and when Magnus looked down at his lap where Alec had his head once more, he saw Alec was asleep. Magnus chuckled and went back to watching the movie as he ran his fingers through Alec's hair. Twenty minutes later Magnus had fallen asleep as well.

It was 5 in the morning when Magnus woke up. His eyes fluttered open and was confused as to why he was up so early when he heard whimpering. He bowed his head and saw Alec turning his head and grabbing at Magnus's sweatpants. Pained and scared whimpers were coming out of his mouth as well as the word no and stop. Alec was having a nightmare.

Magnus quickly pulled Alec's body into his arms and started to rock Alec. He rubbed his arms and begged Alec to wake up. When Alec's eyes shot open he let out a painful scream and then he was burying his face into Magnus's shoulder and let out a sob as tears ran down his cheeks and onto Magnus's night shirt.

"Shhh. Shhh. You're okay. No one is going to hurt you. It's okay sweetheart. You're okay." Magnus whispered into his ear.

After a few minutes of crying, he finally calmed down. When he did he noticed he was sitting in Magnus's lap whilie clutching onto Magnus's shirt and on his shoulder was a wetspot. But he didn't care because right now he felt safe. Safer than he has ever felt before. However that nightmare...it scared him. He needed to be in Magnus's arms.

"Mags?" Alec whispered.

"Yes darling?"

"I'm scared..." Alec replied as he hid his face in Magnus's neck once more.

"Oh Alexander. You're safe here. I promise you. You're never going back to that orphanage again after today because today i'm going to adopt you and no one will ever hurt you again. I promise."

Alec felt the sting of tears in his eyes once again. "You can't promise me that Magnus. We don't know if they'll let you adopt me. You don't know Magnus. I can't....I don't want to hurt anymore. It's not just that. No one cares about me. No one. Sure you're my friend but that's all you are. A friend. Who had his own life. Who doesn't need a mess up like me to ruin everything for you. I have no family Magnus. No one. No one wants me. No one loves me enough to keep me around. And if you do adopt me? How long until you hate me just like everyone else who adopted me. I can't keep doing this. I'm terrified Magnus. And no one gives a damn about me." 

Alec then broke down once again. He tried to get off of Magnus's lap but Magnus held him tighter. Alec struggled out of Magnus's grip. Yelling at him to let go. He needed to be alone. He needed to feel. To hurt himself so he could be okay again. But Magnus wouldn't let him. So he gave up and cried his eyes out.

"You're wrong Alexander. You are so so wrong sweetheart. I know it's hard to believe. Trust me I do. You've been hurt by so many people time and time again and it breaks my heart. I wish you could see how much I care for you Alec. How much I want you in my life. You are not a mess up. You are worth so much and it sadness me that no one has ever seen it. From the first day I met you I knew we would be good friends. You're my best friend Alexander. I love you and I want to take care of you. You're not alone anymore. Never again. And if they don't let me adopt you then we will figure it out. And If i'm able to adopt you then know this. I will never ever ever hate you. Do you get that Alexander? You are the light in the dark and I wish I could hurt everyone who has hurt you."

Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus. "Please don't ever leave me Magnus. You're the only person I have left."

Magnus closed his eyes as he felt a tear roll down his own cheek. He quickly wiped it away and kissed Alec's temple. "I'm never leaving you. Never."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be a really short chapter. I really am sorry about that. I promise promise promise the next one will be longggg. (:

Since Alec's nightmare, they both didn't fall back asleep. It wasn't for the same reason either. Alec didn't fall back asleep because he couldn't. Not after the nightmare he just had. Not only that but in a few hours they would be stopping by the orphanage to see if Magnus could adopt him and that was a whole different story why Alec couldn't go back to sleep. He was scared and nervous and he just couldn't stop thinking about it.

Magnus on the other hand could fall back asleep but he chose not too. He chose not too because he was so worried about Alec. Seeing Alec like that, it scared him. It broke his heart to see Alec afraid and crying. He had to be there for Alec. Besides after seeing Alec like that, it woke him up fully anyways. He then promised himself that he was going to do whatever it took to adopt Alec. To get Alec out the system once and for all. No one was ever going to hurt Alec again. 

So for the next few hours, the two stayed up watching silly cartoons. It was either that or the news because it was so early and neither of them wanted to hear anything bad which was what the news usually had to bring. Neither of them spoke. They didn't have too. Being with each other was all the comfort that both of them needed. They didn't realize that the time flew by until Magnus's phone rang. 

When Magnus looked down at his phone he saw it was Luke who was calling. He saw Alec nod at him telling him to answer it and so he did.

"Hey Luke." 

"Hey Magnus. So I managed to get a meeting with the head of the Orphanage in an hour. I figured you guys would want to get this over with. I mean if you want too." Luke said,

Magnus hummed and turned to Alec. "Hey. Luke said we can meet with the head of the orphanage in an hour. Would you want to go then or when we originally planned to go. I think it will be better if we get ready now and go so we can get it over with but it's up to you Alexander." 

"I want to get it over with." Alec mumbled.

Magnus nodded. "Hey Luke. Alec said it's fine that we meet in an hour. You're still going to be there right?" 

"Of course. I want Alec to be in a good home Magnus. He needs this and i'm going to do everything in my power to make this happen." Luke replied.

Magnus smiled. "Great. We will get ready and then head on over. See you there." 

Hanging up Magnus looked over and saw Alec was pale. He quickly reached over and took one of Alec's hands and placed it in his. Alec jumped and flinched at first but relaxed when Magnus started to move his thumb along the back of Alec's hand in a comforting way.

"Darling...talk to me." 

"I just don't want to go back Magnus. I hate that place. I hate it so much. Not only that but what if it doesn't work out. What if everything goes wrong Magnus?" Alec replied.

"I know you're scared Alexander. But trust me when I say I won't let anyone hurt you. You're going to be with me and luke the whole time and we won't let anything happen to you. I promise we are going to work this out." 

"Thank you Magnus." Alec whispered.

Magnus smiled softly. "Anything for you Alexander." 

"Magnus?" 

"Hmm?"

"I don't have anything to wear." Alec said as a blush appeared on his cheeks.

"That's okay. I'll find you something okay?" 

"Okay." Alec replied.

Magnus smiled. "How are you feeling? Does your back still hurt?" 

Alec shrugged. "Kinda. Especially when my shirt rubs on them...this isn't the most comfortable shirt anyways." 

"I'm so sorry you had to deal with that Alec. I wish..."

Alec shook his head and held up a hand. "Stop. There is nothing you could do. You didn't know. I don't blame you for not being there. It's alright." 

"I'm gonna get you some clothes." 

Alec nodded and watched at Magnus got up and left into his room to get Alec clothes. Alec wondered if he had said something wrong. Magnus had gotten up fast and didn't even wait for Alec's response. He sighed and looked down at his hands. Opening his hands he looked at his palms and saw the scars left from his finger nails digging into his skin over and over again. He was starting to feel the itch to do it again. However, when he heard Magnus walking back he quickly flipped his hands over and closed them into fists.

"These might be a little big but that's alright." Magnus said handing Alec the clothes.

"Thanks." Alec said quietly and walked into the guest room to change. 

Fifteen minutes later and they were both ready. Alec finished before Magnus and was sitting on the couch when Magnus walked out of his room and towards Alec. The man looked gorgeous and Alec couldn't help but to stare. But not for too long because he didn't want Magnus to see him and be creeped out by it. 

"Are you ready?" Magnus asked softly knowing Alec was nervous.

"No. But let's go." 

"Are you sure you want to do this Alexander? You have a say in this too. If you don't want me to adopt you just let me know."

Alec shook his head. "I want you too Magnus. Of course I do. Do you still want to?"

"Without a doubt." 

And maybe everything would be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> This is not beta read. If there are any mistakes I apologize (:


End file.
